What's that smell?

Muff Diving

2006-02-06T15:16:00.000-08:00

Which pussy do you prefer, hairy pussy, trimmed pussy or shaved pussy? Personally, for licking I like shaved pussy, but for fucking, I like hairy pussy. I like the sweat from my balls merging with the pussy hair of my bitch. And, when I go to the loo to wash my dick afterwards, I like to see pussy hair tangled with my cum on the tip of my dick. What do you like?

Monkey Noodle

2006-01-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

You can think of it as food.

How Women Pee in Japan

2006-01-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

In Japan, they don't have separate lavatories for men and women, so Japanese women adapted successfully.

Reverse Pee

2006-01-10T12:06:00.000-08:00

Fart Music

2006-01-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

Highly recommended Flatulence solutions.

Sisters are doing it for themselves

2006-01-06T00:59:00.000-08:00

Whomever said that women cannot pee standing is clearly wrong. As you can see from the picture above, there is no physical reason to prevent women from peeing from an upright position.

Poop horror stories

2006-01-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

Almost all of us have had an embarrasing episode that had to do with poop, pee or fart. If you have an interesting story about body releases, email it to me at stinky965@hotmail.com and I will be more than happy to share it here with the rest of the blogging community.

Today's poop horror story comes to us from Dan, a college student from New York. Enjoy! :)

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Hi. I'm Daniel, I'm 22 years old, I'm in college (last year, yay!). I've enjoyed reading the posts here, so I figured I'd share one instead of being a lurker. Here is my worst bathroom related experience, which, I guess really isn't so bad. I'm lucky.

In my sophomore year of high school, my class took a trip to New York City. We were in Washington Square, and my bowels started to churn. It didn't feel like diarrhea, just a major dump that was ready to come out. I told our chaperone that I really had to go to the bathroom, and she made an announcement that if anyone had to use the bathroom, now was the time.

So I and about twenty other guys on the trip headed to the bathrooms. I entered and was shocked to see that the toilets are completely out in the open. No stalls or anything, just five toilets in a row. They're seperated from the rest of the room by a wall, but anyone coming back there to pee or standing at the sink to wash their hands can see you. I thought about holding it, but my clenched butt cheeks had other things in mind.

I swallowed my pride and approached the last toilet in the row, furthest from view. The toilets had no seats, you had to sit directly on the rim. I quickly wiped the rim off with TP, and then put more TP on it, pulled my jeans and boxers down just far enough and sat. My bowels started emptying. It was right around that moment, when several of the guys I was with came around the corner to pee in the toilets and saw me sitting on the last toilet taking a shit. One of them said, "Oh, man, are you taking a shit?" I was like, "What do you think I'm doing?"

Then it got worse. The guy said, "Guys, check out Dan, he's taking a shit back here." Five or six guys poked their heads in and looked at me on the toilet. I just tried to laugh it off, but inside I was pretty humiliated. Other guys using the bathroom were coming in and out of the toilet area to pee, and most of them seemed surprised to see a guy on the toilet. I had to shit, what was I supposed to do.

That's when the worst part came. One of the guys took a picture of me. He laughed and rushed out of the bathroom. I finished shitting, and that's when I noticed there was no TP. At that point, I thought I could deal with a little stickiness between the cheeks than another second of humiliation. I got up and pulled up my pants and rushed out. One of the guys said, "You're not gonna even wipe your ass?" I just rushed out.

Within an hour, almost everyone, including all the girls, had heard that I had taken a shit in front of everyone and hadn't wiped my ass afterward. It was quite overwhelmingly mortifying. Was that the worst part? Not by a long shot. On the bus ride home, the guy passed out copies of the picture of me on the toilet to every last girl on the bus. I heard a lot of giggling, and finally one of them showed me the picture and said they couldn't believe I had the guts to shit out in the open like that.

I was beyond embarrassed. That whole series of events stuck with me through the next few months. Looking back on it now, luckily, I find it humorous, but at the time, it was a nightmare. High school kids are relentless whan it comes to torturing you!

Skid marks: A definition

2006-01-03T09:51:00.000-08:00

Skid marks

1. A line of fecal matter in your underwear that varies in thickness from thin to meaty. Usually a result of poor asswiping skills.
"Hey Greg! Check out these skid marks on grandma's panties!"

2. The thin brown line in your undies, especially tightie-whities, caused by insufficient wiping.
"Your skid marks and itchy butt don't just happen kids. You need to wipe better. Don't wipe your heiny with your underpants!"

3.Used to describe the brown marks in unwashed tightey whiteys belonging to someone who just couldnt hold it. or, alternatively, they had an all day wedgie.
"Dude! Check out those skid marks! Dad must've had Mexican for lunch today."

Courtesy of the Urban Dictionary.

Constipation and Hemorrhoids

2006-01-01T06:06:00.000-08:00

Hemorrhoids (also called piles) may result from constipation (straining to move stool).

The most common cause of hemorrhoids is straining during bowel movements.

Hemorrhoids are painful, swollen veins in the lower portion of the rectum or anus.

Rectal bleeding may occur, appearing as bright red streaks on the surface of the stool.Hemorrhoids are either inside the anus (internal) or under the skin around the anus (external).

Sometimes straining causes a small amount of intestinal lining to push out from the anal opening. This condition, known as rectal prolapse, may lead to secretion of mucus from the anus.

Usually eliminating the cause (straining) is the only treatment necessary. Severe or chronic prolapse requires surgery to strengthen and tighten the anal sphincter muscle or to repair the prolapsed lining.

*The best way to prevent hemorrhoids is to keep stools soft so they pass easily, thus decreasing pressure and straining, and to empty bowels as soon as possible after the urge occurs.

* Exercise, including walking, and increased fiber in the diet help reduce constipation and straining by producing stools that are softer and easier to pass.

* Treatment for hemorrhoids may include warm tub baths, ice packs, and application of a special cream to the affected area. * Treatment for anal fissure may include stretching the sphincter muscle or surgical removal of tissue or skin in the affected area.

Getting the urge in unfamiliar territory

2005-12-29T15:29:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid my mom once took me to one of those hotel weddings that go on until the wee hours of the morning. I guess she took me there because my cousins were there too. We played hide and seek and other games in the lobby outside the wedding party area.

About an hour into the fun and games I got the urge to pee. Being the kid that I was, and with no maids around to guide me (they were in the party zone), I couldn’t figure out where to go to relieve myself.

We were forbidden from entering the hall where the festivities were taking place, but I really got to wee wee. I looked left and there was another hall of equal proportions, but it was empty! Better yet, it had all kinds of food and a big cake in the middle.

So I went straight to the big cake and right before I grabbed a bite, I took my willy out and I peed on the carpet right then and there. It was such a relief. I still don’t know if the newly weds felt the soggy carpet underneath the cake when they cut it later.

The Dangerous Fart

2005-12-28T09:31:00.000-08:00

I fart a lot, and most of my farts are harmless, but once in a blue moon I get a dangerous fart like the time I went biking with a bunch of people.

I was the forth in a line of ten bikes. I was fart-happy most of the way with no problems, until towards the end of our ride when we decided to race to the finish. I had a good-sized fart as I was pedaling fast; no problem.

I didn’t win the race to the finish, but when I went home and took off my beige shorts, I noticed a brown spot about the size of a pickle on the back of it. A secondary check on my Hanes confirmed the incident. I don’t know if anyone from the team noticed it.

Ball Odor Management

2005-12-28T09:22:00.000-08:00

Cold weather presents unique problems to the way I relate to my body odor. As I sleep at night, the warmest part of my body is the area surrounding my balls (this is a scientific fact). When I wake up in the morning and head to the toilet to take my first dump, the bathroom is usually freezing cold.

As I sit on the toilet, the warm area around my balls starts to warm up the cold air above it. This process causes the warmed-up air along with the scent of my balls to travel upwards through the interior of my loose t-shirt (which is acting like an air duct now) straight to my nose. Even worse, when I begin shitting, the warm shit starts to do the same thing, shooting stinky warm air through my t-shirt onto my face.

So now, every time I take a dump during wintertime, I put my right hand around the neck of my t-shirt much like if I were choking myself. The purpose of this maneuver is to redirect the warm, stinky air away from my face and cause it to exit harmlessly from the back. This is clearly an inconvenience since it prevents me from reading my favorite porn magazines while taking a dump, but it’s better than the alternative.

Stinky

Sir Shitalot

2005-12-28T09:14:00.000-08:00

I take at least four to five dumps a day. Because my diet is well balanced, my shit tends to be on the soft side, sometimes almost liquid. My brother tells me I shit like a bird, whatever that means.

This places a tremendous burden on our maids. You see, I have a bad aim, or if you want to look at it from an artistic point of view, I am the Picasso of the toilet bowl. My butt hole has a way of spraying shit rather than dumping it. Think of it as the fire sprinklers in five star hotels, they are designed to shoot to cover as large an area as possible. That’s how my bunghole works. The result is maids throwing up in my toilet at least once a week.

Sleep Stink

2005-12-28T09:10:00.000-08:00

My room has a distinctive stink which becomes more pronounced during winter time when the windows are closed and the AC is not working. The smell is a mixture of fart, cum (from jacking off), bad mouth smell, gunk and various other bodily secretion.

It gets especially bad on weekends when everything is magnified because of the extended sleeping time. I always chuckle at the sight of our maids rushing through my room after I wake up to open the window with their hands on their noses. They wiz in and out, then come back 15 minutes later when the stink is more tolerable.

By the way, my cum smells like bleach. Does that mean I'm squeaky clean?

Stinky